You dun know the real meaning of things...

Morning is here,so fast...seems like i just laid on my bed on unable to catch any real sleep and it's already morning le,why do the nights past so quickly for the past few days...I know it's very easy for you to leave,you just shut the door and walk away,not even checking if the person walking with you got trapped in the door that you slammed shut anot...
We've been together long enough to do things that we both understand without saying anything...but if you feel that what i did was unforgivable and you dun wanna give me the chance of explaining.It's fine.You can choose to continue to lie to yourself and think that i really am such an asshole and that i want to try treat you that way willingly...But you are wrong lor,lying to oneself will only not help matters but end up making things worse.Why suffer by having negative thots...And if you want to enlist other's help in making me feel uncomfortable and sad,i tell you ok,you succeeded extremely well,i lost all will in continuing any treatment,if you really mean you want me gone,i tell you what,don't use those type of tactics,i do it personally,i end it myself.Easier...Seriously it has always been about urself hasn't it? Since you made your choice,i'll let you believe what you did is right...I wun correct you now,but if you think the times and happy moments cannot withstand something like this,it just proves that the letter is right isn't it?How you want me to take it back now,i dun understand.Because you think you know what the letter is,when infact,you don't even know a single thing,so if you want to stay upset,go ahead,but not at me,at yourself because you "assume" things again...Like aways,but this time,you're not only wrong,you're totally not in the situation...

someone said it's better to leave...

I finally got to lie on my bed and sleep properly last night...Also had a exchange of conversation with someone unexpected last night...Someone told me that my presence is actually more of a problem than help to...this important person to me... I should leave den only will the other person be really happy,this someone knows the best ba,if that's what the best for the other person....Ok,i'll do anything to see that person happy...Including giving up what's dear and precious to me...If it will really make you happy this way...人一生最幸福的就是能遇到这一生的挚爱,我很高兴那人是你...真的...有人告诉了我如果我这样的离开你,会让你更高兴...那为了你的 笑...我愿意永远的离开你...
还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于,描述我如何爱你 你却微笑的离我而去,这感觉已经不对,
我努力在挽回一些些应给的体贴,但感觉我没给你如此碎的愿望很卑微在凋谢,是我忽略你不过要的安慰
这感觉已经不对,我最后才了解,一页页不能翻阅但情节你好累,你我的卑微,为我掉过几次泪而憔悴,而我心碎你受罪你的美...
原谅我选择不联络，应为有人对我说，让你听到我会让你更难过，让你看到我会让你不知所措...应为你令我时时刻刻都念记.其实今天心中已无馀地,还是每天跟你,还是最喜欢你,就似你是我的清水与空气,从前已路过的怎跟你比美...

Do you???

Back le...Weak and tired from being there the entire weekend alone...Someone said would be there for me during this type of times,but i think that person forget le,maybe even forgot that i was in there...During the few days,was feeling so horrible...So terrified that it was the end le,but didn't have anyone to speak to or confide in...Now how le,for me?Do you even know that i'm out?or even do you remember me telling you that i was there?

....sadz timez

I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so ,I should have held on tight I
never should have let you go .
I didn't know nothing I was stupid, I was foolish ,I was lying to myself

I could not fathom that I would ever be without your love ,
Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me ,
But I thought I knew everything ...I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice
or have your touch and kiss your lips 'cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you lying by my side.
Right here, 'cause baby We belong together...

When you left I lost a part of me,It's still so hard to believe,
Come back baby, please Cause we belong together

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody better

To:My Friend

I woke up because i heard you cry...I hoped i did it right,try making you smile all this nights.
Now i've completed what i set out to do,you must take care of yourself...This is just what i promised you,to be there always for you...Now that the sadness is almost over,go find the ones that can bring you laughter.It's not me that you are after,i know,esp that night you said "Fyi,we're just friends..." remember? I will remember,friends mah...If that is really what you want...Ok,i give it to you..My friend...

P.s:on a side note,to the person that gave me 121 missed calls(my new record)...It's very irritating...Please stop it,i gave you my answer already...

Marsh bit me...(^V^) Pain...

Yesterday,i went to see Lubin and his grandma one more time...Visited Marsh my son also...Played with him and he kept on trying to bite me,after a few frustrating moments,i finally let him succeed...hehe...but he bit so hard,he bit off my skin also...pain...(^V^)I will miss him so much nor....
I now have to go prepare for later le...Take care peeps...Take care of Marsh,Gwen dear...

Makes me wonder....(=_=)

God damn, my aching head...Decisions that made my bed...Now I must lay in it...And deal with things I left unsaid,i want to dive into you...Forget what you're going through...I get behind, make your move...
Forget about the truth,I've been here before....One day a week,And it won't hurt anymore...I caught you in a lie...But I have no alibi...The words you say don't have a meaning ...Cause..
I still don't have the reason,And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder,If I ever gave a f**k about you and I...
and so this is goodbye
Give me something to believe in,Cause I don't believe in you,
Anymore...Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,,It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling...But I don't believe it's true
Anymore Anymore...I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
So this is goodbye

So painful....

Went to Mediacorp and was in the theatre for the production of the PSC night show...Haha,saw Michelle Chong,Guo Liang and Chen Tai Ming...Learnt a lot from the production...Went up to the producer's room to see for myself first hand also...How they work and operate the switches...
But the important thing was i think i really prefer TV production as compared to Radio production...
And hmm...something i should really get of my heart le,it's been bugging me for awhile...Sheryl,u remember the talk we had about "her"? That evening where we went home together?You and me had a long long conversation about "HER"...you told me what you thot of her and how her person is really like,and how she really treating people?
Well...I guess u were right about her...not really fully right but close ba...It's scary when i realised it...And hor,you must really be getting used to calling me in the middle of the night hor...(^V^)The record is 4.57AM!!! This is a very bad habit that we are cultivating...Hehe,you should change it,people later get jealous de...haha,esp u know who...(^V^)...And really really before i forget,THANKS AH,bimbo,for that bite on my hand(see attached picture above)...still dare tell me it's a "lovebite" somemore...Pain like hell sia you...(T-T)...

ok...if you want it that way...

Sigh~~~waited for a reply for more then ten hours le...no reply at all...not even a no...Instead only got one from Auntie Ong(Sheryl) just a few mins ago only...haha,sadz...Ok,no problem,i get your drift,if this is the way u want to reply me,den ok lor...i am silly not stupid,i can catch the meaning.I'll do my very best not to disturb you from now on ba...Save you the effort of deleting the msgs even b4 you read them...(^V^)No point... i cannot argue...Hands and mouth tied...and my end is near...You're my little Chu-Chi face...

"What have I got to do to make you love me?What have I got to do to make you care?What do I do when sickness strikes me....And I wake up to find that you're not the one there....
What do I do to make you want me?What have I got to do to be heard?What do I say when it's all over?
It's sad, so sad...It's a sad, sad situation...And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad...Why can't we talk it over?It seems to me that sorry seems to be the hardest word to say"
If I got down on my knees and I pleaded with you,If I crossed a million oceans just to be with you...Would you ever let me down?If I climbed the highest mountain just to hold you tight...If I said that I would love you every single night...Would you ever let me down?
Well I'm sorry if it sounds kinda sad, it's just that...Worried, so worried...that you let me down...Because i really love you...

On a side note to Sheryl:Ok,i got your message...I'll agree to it lor...No choice rite?Haha...I got no more reason to say no to her request...Now it's my turn to say yes..hehe...she must really want it a lot to ask me in the middle of the nite...haha...i also remember the day you had to stay behind with me just to "help-out"...(^V^)you had to use my phone somemore...So the answer is OK!!!

Choo-Chi Face/Doll on Music Box/You two/Truly Scrumptious...all from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...

You are my Choo Chi face... And i am your teddy bear...

(Pic:ME and Gwen inside the Esplanade Theatre Hall) p.s:taking pics is not allowed inside the hall.
(Pic:Me,Gwen and the show's main character...Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)

Went to watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang yesterday...Quite nice...However,could have been because it was the Gala premier,dat's why the performers worked doubly hard...(^V^)...
Went with Gwen,my Mum and my Sis...Thot that i could wear our necklace one more time,but sorry that i didn't...And ya,i also had dinner at Outback Steakhouse,not bad,not bad at all...
Ate with my Choo Chi face...hehe...
Anyway,the story is about this old car,named Chitty Chitty Bang Bang(Chitty).It used to be a racing car until the Vulgarians from (guess where?) Vulgaria... decided to tamper with it's parts causing it to crash and become obsolete.Few years later,two children got to know of the car's story and wanted to save it from being scrapped...At the same time,the Vulgarian ruler wants to get his hands on the car also,therefore he sends his two evil henchmen to steal the car.After some twists and turns,the two children manages to get the car and the evil ruler gets their Grandpa..(=...=)6
Now the children with their father have to embark on an adventure to save their Gramps and the country of Vulgaria from their evil ruler with his Baroness and the Child-Catcher...Yes,that's right,the Child-Catcher...The ending i will let you guys go find out yourself,but hmmm,all i can say is that...it's predictable la...

(Pic:Gwen and Me at Outback Diners)
(Pic:Eating at Outback)

The final episode tmr???

Tmr will be the final episode le,after tmr,there wun be anymore continuation... Hope i can really really get an enjoyment out of this finality...11 Days more to go,guys...人生短短几十年，不会开心，快乐每一天。。。so must enjoy the days the life give us to the fullest...

You really dun miss me do you?ok...

Today suppose to be a sunday...but really really sadz...I...Nvm...Nitez...

Countdown start le...爱无赦...

Spent last nite walking to a few places...from Marina,i walked all the way to Oxley Road...So many memories lie there for me...I slowly walked down towards Mohd Sultan Road and came to this place that was last time known as Tee-off Golf pub or something...it's oppsite UE square,remember UE square that place...yah that;s rite...,i cant really remember the name,but...it's not the name that is important...but what happened there...
After which i walked down towards Clarke Quay...and saw the G-Max...
Sigh~~~I remember how i used to pick her up after her sessions ended...but now her choice of company is no longer me le...I really missed the days...But i think i wun miss it for long...(^V^) Very soon will jie tuo le...14 days to the countdown...

Never regret love beacause...爱无赦

The first and maybe last Mrs Tan...

I wan to give credit to this girl here in the picture...Her name is Bilegmaa,she's really beautiful and she really loved me a lot,but she loved me more then i did and i had always treated her very badly.She was the girl that i was prepared to marry also,until the faithful day on Feb 8th 2006 where she left me forever.If i had treated her better maybe she wouldn't have left.But it's all over,i just want to tell her here that i did really love you and when i said i love you,i meant it...(^V^)
Why i am doing this now is because i want to settle somethings before anything ever happens to me...It's a great feeling to have someone to call your own.I owe her alot,i made a lot of promises to her and never made it come thru,i finally knows what it feels like now...I also owe her two years of her life,but i want her to know that i never regretted this two years...We had a lot of "FUN"...(^V^)Remember we bought the BB to play???hehe... I sent it to you somemore...
Sigh~~a person's importance to this world is decided by the number of people that will cry at his funeral,mine too...but i hope mine will be zero...I wun wan to see people cry...Esp...(=~=)
Dear,i hope you'll read my Blog and understand my feelings...I just hope she's happy with whichever guy she has chosen...but it's not me...but i give her my very Blessings...I wish you happiness...